Letter To My Future Self
by Damonficgirl
Summary: Set late in Season 2. Audrey realises its important to make a record of who she is and the people she loves. Spoilers for all of season 2.


**Letter to My Future Self**

_**Setting: Written after Audrey meets Lucy Ripley in Season 2 but before she gets kidnapped. **_

Dear Diary,

I've never been on to keep a diary, I always thought it was a kind of lame, but when you find out that there's a chance you're going to lose all your memories (the ones that actually are yours, and the ones that are someone else's) you start to think, hey maybe it's not such a bad idea to leave a little something behind to say who you were, at least who you were right now or am, right now, sorry, kind of hard to keep my tenses right when apparently I've had two or three different lives and could apparently disappear all over again and come back again. Here goes.

My name is Audrey Parker. Except, that's not really my name, that's somebody elses' name. I used to be Lucy Ripley, but that wasn't my name either. But right now my friends call me Audrey, so it feels like it should be my name, so let's call me that.

See that's the real reason I'm writing this, my friends. I never had much of a family in foster care and now I've finally got people I care about and who seem to care about me I don't want to lose them. I've seen all of them die at one time or another and those were the worst moments of my life, but thankfully they never happened (its a long story). But right now Nathan and Duke are pretty much the closest thing I've ever had to family. Nathan especially. Duke is the idiot kid brother I never had, except we're not actually family and he's a bit of a ladies man so he still flirts with me now and then but I know I can always count on him and I know it's not just because he likes the way I look in a dress, or how he thinks I'd look out of one more like. If I hadn't met Nathan I probably would have fallen in love with Duke, because even though he acts like a player and a con artist (and sometimes he is one) he's got a heart of gold and he can't help but come through for you.

Nathan is another story, he's my partner in the police force, I work with him every day, and he is one of the most selfless, determined, strong people I have ever known. He's troubled, like a lot of people in this town, but he's more worried about helping other people than himself and he's always been there for me, he's always believed me and listened to me and trusted me. He's ridiculously hard working, funny, he has a schoolboy smile and the charm of one – innocent, wide eyed and nervous. He's the sort of man who still opens doors for ladies and takes his hat off when he walks inside a room. He would never take advantage of anyone or lie or cheat or steal – unless it was to save them from themselves, or more the troubles. A lot of people would have up and left Haven when their family was gone instead of taking on the responsibility of trying to hold the town together, but Nathan is all about responsibility and duty. He has more integrity than any other man I've ever known. He keeps me honest and he makes me a better person. If I lose who I am, please help me find Nathan, no one knows me better.

I can't finish this without mentioning Dave and Vince. They're these two quirky old guys who run the newspaper here in Haven. They're sort of my adopted Grandfathers, though if truth be told I have a feeling they may have known me in a less than family way back in the days when I had another name and the same face. Oh well, right now they're simply lovely, they look out for me and for everyone else in Haven. If I ever lose who I am again I hope that if I go to them they'll help me find my way back to who I was. I suppose they're getting on, they've aged while apparently I haven't, but it's impossible to imagine Haven without them.

So diary here it is, the short life of Audrey Parker, FBI agent turned Haven police officer. A friend to a few group of special people who have made this place my home. I've tried hard to help the people of Haven and I hope that if I ever need their help, they'll help me back, but honestly diary, I don't want to lose myself again, I like being Audrey Parker, I don't know what it was like being Lucy Ripley but I feel like this is the first time I've ever been truly happy and I don't want to give that up.

Yours

Audrey Parker.


End file.
